Insomnia

So here I am, its almost 6 in the morning and I still can't sleep. My beautiful girlfriend is laying in bed next to me and I wish more then anything right now I was sleeping comfortably next to her. See, I love sleeping, its one of my favorite activities. It just never comes at quite the appropriate times for me, especially trying to have a day job and generally be a productive citizen.
I apologize for not having written in some time. I generally lack focus lately and haven't been able to channel my thoughts into something appropriate for a blog post. I've hardly been able to channel my thoughts into anything productive at all. I'm heading out to Wyoming at the end of the month for a week of camping and good fun at the National Rainbow Gathering. But unfortunately, then I've got to come back to more of the same. This shitty city really gets me down sometimes, more often lately. Everyone just blindly going about doing the same things that have been destroying us and this planet for the past couple hundred years. I should be getting up for work in the next 2-3 hours, and I'm not sure how thats going to happen. Want to know what I do for a living? I'm a bottom feeder in this oil based economy, I fill my car up with this awful juice and then drive around all day delivering packages. Half the time its medical supplies for home care, but the other half is just boring standard business packages. Its rather at odds with my beliefs and I don't think I'll keep it much longer, its quite depressing.
Things have been pretty crazy and mixed up lately, I've lost some good friends and seen an awkward social atmosphere in the past 2-3 months. I'm only just now wising up and removing myself from the problems. Its really hard for me to be happy here. However, my love is here so I can make due, but this city really weighs on me.
I could go on and on about the conflicts that have been bothering me lately, the only one that seems to be an on-going concern is whether I really, truly think love can conquer all. I feel as if I'm in the deciding battle on this issue and I really do not want to lose. I believe love is the greatest force of all, but sometimes the outcome looks bleak. Not very often at all mind you, but just enough to make me worry. I've already stepped up to the plate and invested my all; so I will not back down or give up ever. But I still worry because I know exactly how great a loss it would be. I'm in it to win it and I get my way often enough to make me confident in my abilities so I really can't lose. But the universe is just cruel enough that if it wanted to it could crush my existence and ideals in one fell swoop.
Let us turn to more positive things though.
Bands I've been listening to of late:
Akron/Family, I can't remember if I already mentioned them, but they are one of the most right on groups I've heard in a good minute.
Crystal Castles, Like video game music/noises? Love this duo.
How's about some Anime if thats more your style?
Tekkonkinkreet, Black And White; Kuro and Shiro Neko. Watch it, it will astound you. And if you haven't seen The Fountain,(not anime) watch that before or after. Beware of the wiki page on that one, all spoiler, I suggest a fresh head. Two pieces that go hand in hand I feel though.
Dennou Coil, great cyberpunk-esque series.
Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei, pure anime/manga hilarity and randomness. A must watch, Followed by Colorful, more zany japanese, only this time instead of a classroom setting, its purely about panties.

And I'll top it all off with a fascinating website to get lost in:
http://www.realitysandwich.com

_ntrpe