Anyone in need of a futon?
_ntrpe
_ntrpe
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
A few last thoughts
Not quite last thoughts as I plan to lay down some serious shit in my next post, but close enough anyways.
First let me start off by apologizing to everyone I ever wronged. Whatever the situation, I let you down in some way and I shouldn't have, so I'm sorry. I hope you managed to get over it and continue on your great journey.
To those I ever hated, I just want you to know that it wasn't you that let me down, I let myself down to succumb to hate. I love you and I wish you the best of luck in this fucked up world. (And that segues nicely into my final thought):
Love Everybody Its much easier said then done let me tell you. But I want you(whomever you may be) to give it a real try. Some people make it really hard I know, but you can always find something to love, so cherish that and don't dwell on the downside of life. Everybody includes Mother Earth, the Universe and even yourself. Because when you get right down to it, God is Love and that is why you must love everybody. Because we are all connected and its not up to you to break the chain by choosing not to love. You Must Love! Love spins the earth around the sun, Love keeps your heart beating and your cells from dying, Love is everywhere and everything. If humanity is going to save itself from assured destruction, everyone must love everyone. Please people, do it for me. Learn from my mistakes.
Despite my best efforts I still cannot love myself enough to truly love everyone. This is why I failed at love, true love, my soulmate, I found her(a rare feat) but I broke the chain and in doing so commited the most heinous crime of my life. So I don't deserve that love anymore. And this is why I fail at life. I broke the chain and disconnected myself from what is truly good about being alive.
Don't break the chain! Please Love Everybody.
Thats really all I have to say for this awful morning. At least one, maybe two more updates in the next 48 hours.
Love,
_ntrpe
First let me start off by apologizing to everyone I ever wronged. Whatever the situation, I let you down in some way and I shouldn't have, so I'm sorry. I hope you managed to get over it and continue on your great journey.
To those I ever hated, I just want you to know that it wasn't you that let me down, I let myself down to succumb to hate. I love you and I wish you the best of luck in this fucked up world. (And that segues nicely into my final thought):
Love Everybody Its much easier said then done let me tell you. But I want you(whomever you may be) to give it a real try. Some people make it really hard I know, but you can always find something to love, so cherish that and don't dwell on the downside of life. Everybody includes Mother Earth, the Universe and even yourself. Because when you get right down to it, God is Love and that is why you must love everybody. Because we are all connected and its not up to you to break the chain by choosing not to love. You Must Love! Love spins the earth around the sun, Love keeps your heart beating and your cells from dying, Love is everywhere and everything. If humanity is going to save itself from assured destruction, everyone must love everyone. Please people, do it for me. Learn from my mistakes.
Despite my best efforts I still cannot love myself enough to truly love everyone. This is why I failed at love, true love, my soulmate, I found her(a rare feat) but I broke the chain and in doing so commited the most heinous crime of my life. So I don't deserve that love anymore. And this is why I fail at life. I broke the chain and disconnected myself from what is truly good about being alive.
Don't break the chain! Please Love Everybody.
Thats really all I have to say for this awful morning. At least one, maybe two more updates in the next 48 hours.
Love,
_ntrpe
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Loss of Faith
When all of life's a sham, nothing goes according to your plan. You try and you try, only to cry and cry. Things don't go your way, sometimes I just want to die.
I've put this big space between me and my lover. I don't think there is anything I can do to get things back together. I just don't understand what's behind those beautiful caring eyes. I imagine I'll sleep alone again tonight. I just don't understand the cold shoulder I always feel towards me now. It would be different if she would give up on me like she should, she refuses to, but then doesn't want to see me.
I'm just lost. Hopefully soon I'll find my way proper. Until then, I'm a dead man.
_ntrpe
I've put this big space between me and my lover. I don't think there is anything I can do to get things back together. I just don't understand what's behind those beautiful caring eyes. I imagine I'll sleep alone again tonight. I just don't understand the cold shoulder I always feel towards me now. It would be different if she would give up on me like she should, she refuses to, but then doesn't want to see me.
I'm just lost. Hopefully soon I'll find my way proper. Until then, I'm a dead man.
_ntrpe
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